OUT WITH THE OLD AND IN WITH THE NEW ON DIVORCE IN CONNECTICUT!

After some consideration, today I made the sad decision to retire one of my long time pages: "CT Legal Blogs". One of the big reasons I felt sorry taking it down is because it garnered so many page views and I always like to retain on my blog any feature which is highly popular.  

On the other hand, I really have to consider the purpose of my blog. Am I here to promote the blogs of legal professionals? Really? Reluctantly, I must agree that I probably am not, even though the information could be valuable to people depending upon what they are looking for.  

I am also concerned that the CT Legal Blog page could give the impression that I am endorsing certain attorneys and attorney firms--which I am not. I do not promote or endorse any particular attorney or firm.  

Historically, I began the CT Legal Blogs page very early in my work as a blogger, and I did it out of interest for what kinds of other blogs were out there.  I have to say that this was a very important part of my learning process and, in the course of the investigation into other legal blogs, I was very impressed with the high quality of many of the blogs and I think it is really valuable that there are attorneys out there who are blogging and who are sharing very important information with litigants and helping them with their decision making processes and keeping them informed.  This is truly a public service for the many thousands of litigants who are trying to navigate their way through the CT Legal system.  

On the other hand, I think it is time for me to let go of their digital hands and move forward independent of their influence.  The bottom line is that I am the voice of the litigant and I wish to align myself with the voices of other litigants.  I don't want to be mistaken for a legal professional in any way.  So eliminating this particular page is part of being more clear regarding how I definite myself and where my position is in the marketplace of ideas.  

As with many things, change is not always easy.  Nonetheless, I think this is a change that has found its time, so I am going to go with it.  

As a replacement for the page we are losing here, I am now adding a page which will link viewers directly to the Divorce in Connecticut Youtube page.  This is the easiest way I could think of to direct people towards the Youtube page which is now beginning to play a much greater role in the work I am doing.  

I am not sure if this will be my final resting place for the Youtube link, but it seems to me to be good enough for now.  As with many things, the effectiveness of the blog is limited to my technical abilities which are slow in developing.  

When it comes to the blog, my first concern is always to ensure that I post family court news in a timely and efficient manner so that activists are well informed about developments.  If that means I have an absence of razzle dazzle in my blog, so be it.  Meanwhile, we do have a Youtube channel up and running and I think it will add a rich visual dimension to the distribution of information regarding our corrupt family court system.  

I'd be interested in hearing from people regarding their experience of the Divorce in Connecticut Youtube channel as it moves forward.  Don't hesitate to add your thoughts in the comment section below!

WHEN DO CASES APPEAR ON THE "DIVORCE IN CONNECTICUT" WEBSITE!

I am regularly contacted by people who are enduring very difficult situations in family court.  Many of the people who contact me are hoping that I will write about their case and tell the world what is going on.  

As an aside, I do think it is amazing how many people think that  if anyone knew what was happening to them, someone would immediately intervene in their horrific family court case.  Little do they know that the majority of people who could do something about it, i.e. other attorneys, political advocates, leaders of charitable organizations, clergy, or their neighbors--would never reach out to support them.  Once you have been sucked into the dark hole of family court no one wants to touch you.  

Why?  

In my opinion, this is because people are essentially heartless and once you are in trouble, you just have to find within yourself somewhere the resources necessary to wade your way through the swamp and survive.  Perhaps you will make it, most likely you will not.  As my parents used to chorus together when they were alive, "Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone."  No truer words have ever been said.  

These reports of truly horrific family court situations are usually accompanied, as I have said, with a request for help.  Of course, I have no help to give particularly. I am not an attorney.  I am not particularly well connected.  I know important people, but if they were going to do anything, it wouldn't be for a mother, it would be for a father.  So there isn't much I can do.  

Yes, I can give people a platform, and I can tell their stories, and I don't want to underestimate how important that is to people.  It does matter when you have come to the end of the road in your family court disaster and you have lost your kids and every dime you have, and you have lost your standing in the community, and no one will speak to you anymore because they think you are a bad person, to have an article come out explaining what happened from your side of the story.  I will never underestimate or devalue how significant it is to have an audience and to have a platform where your suffering and pain will be acknowledged.  

However, if a litigant is at the beginning of their trek, if they are still underway in the journey, and there is even a modicum of hope, I absolutely will never tell that story.  

Why?  

Because if there is any chance that a litigant might somehow be rescued from her situation, I do not want to play a role in preventing her from success.  The bottom line is that the CT Judicial Branch is full of spiteful, cruel, and mean individuals and if you expose them in the media, you will definitely never see your children again and you definitely will end up on the street.  So I do limit myself to writing about hopeless cases or cases that have played an important role within the family court system but that are maybe 20 to 30 years old.  There are many of those and they are always fun to write about.  

The other aspect of writing about people's stories has to do with the commitment of this blog to accuracy.  I am not willing to write about a litigant's case when I do not have full information.  This means that while I may find a story very tragic and saddening, I won't just publish such a story without a considerable amount of scrutiny.  

If I write about a litigant's case I usually review the memoranda of decision, the custody evaluation, the GAL report, emails back and forth from the litigant to her attorney and other professionals in the case, motions to the court of every variety, exhibits, and transcripts of court hearings, etc..  If I don't have access to these documents, I will be sympathetic, but I will not go any further.  

Anyone who looks at the case studies that I have included on this blog will see that discussions are based fully on the documents and the testimony that has been provided to me.  

I am not interested in sensationalism, or heartbreaking stories that are intended to shock and scandalize, I am interested in cases that instruct and edify.  This is just the kind of person that I am, and I really have to build on who I am in order to have the kind of website that I consider meets a high standard of accuracy and integrity.  Of course, if others choose to do things differently, I am not judging or anything. I'm just talking about what I feel comfortable with for myself.  

The plus side of this policy is that you can count on the fact that I am telling the truth to the best of my ability on the blogs I've posted on my website.  On the down side, for people who have had enough questioning, who have been mistreated and abused, I am probably not the best person to talk to because I could make a person feel hurt because I don't take what they have to say on face value.  One of the prime mandates of the #metoo movements is that you should believe the victims.  I do.  

However, I am well aware that we live in a pretty harsh world and in order to have a voice, that voice must be vetted.  The mothers who have worked with me and undergone this process, who have partnered with me in making sure that I told their stories fully and accurately are real heroines to me.  Above all, I have a great deal of admiration and respect for the mothers who have done this and had their stories published on my website in a way that greatly assists and supports other mothers who are struggling with our corrupt family court system.  It is my hope that eventually reforms will arise from such stories, and that these mothers will not have suffered in vain.