AM I NAIVE ABOUT THE TASK FORCE?

I posted about the foot dragging that has been going on with the Task Force on Custody hoping to bring the issue to everyone's attention.  Immediately, I received emails from readers saying that I was being naïve and that no amount of work on a task force would make any difference, that the system is so corrupt that the task force will be co-opted by folks who want the corruption to continue. 

 

Perhaps I am a die hard optimist, but I don't think that is entirely true.  I believe change begins with a conversation.  It begins with people who are willing to sit down and discuss what the problems are and what can be done to correct them.  Any kind of social revolution begins like this.  That is not to say that a single task force will fix everything, because that isn't true.  I don't see a quick fix happening overnight.  But I do believe that there are people of good will everywhere and that if those people can build some bridges here through the task force, God bless them for trying.  

 

I also think that we are not just talking about change here.  We are talking about how important it is for Citizens of this State to have their stories heard.  The implementation of justice may be slow, but citizens can obtain some acknowledgment for their hurt and pain through the Task Force simply through the process of being heard and having the recognition of supporters such as ourselves.  The process of telling our stories, speaking up about what we have endured and what we have suffered, this is an important process which should not be denigrated or denied. 

 

Yes, this initial task force may be hindered from taking meaningful action, but if it simply sits there while we speak of what happened to us, as we put on the record the injuries done to us, as we name names as we hold up to the light the individuals responsible for criminal activities and various wrongdoings against us, there is a triumph to that which should be acknowledged.  If this is all the task force does, thank God for that. 

 

However, I don't think that this will be all the task force achieves.  I think it will encourage others to come out and speak up about what they have gone through and this means more citizens who are ready to put pressure on our representatives to get something done to reform our State Courts. 

 

I also want to add that we shouldn't just be coming to this task force to complain.  What we need are concrete plans to make changes in the Connecticut Statutes so that we can rein in the corruption by the implementation of laws that are targeted to prevent it from continuing.  So when it comes to the task force we need to come to the table not only with our stories, but also with our proposals for how we can change the law to prevent these tragic situations from every occurring again. 

 

I'm not naïve enough to think that a single task force packed with Connecticut Judicial Branch personnel will do it, but we need to begin somewhere.  At some point we have to shift from being victims who distrust any possibility of healing, to survivors who work toward building a system that stops creating more victims, and the responsibility for doing that starts with each and every one of us. 

 

So, again, I'd say, contact members of the task force, ask them to get things  moving, comment on my blog about how we need to complete the list of appointees at, see below:

 

http://www.divorceinconnecticut.blogspot.com/2013/08/more-foot-dragging-positions-on-child.html

 

And seriously, are all of you prepared with your stories and your proposals so that you can  work with the task force when it is ready to go?  

GOOGLE TRANSLATE

I am really happy to have the google translate feature on my blog.  I have a large readership from all over the world and I think the translate feature makes the blog much more accessible to them. 

 

I'm not sure what the attraction of a blog on legal issues in Connecticut has to people in, say Latvia, but apparently it does.  So I am all for it and will do what I can to make the blog accessible to them. 

 

Already since I put the google translate feature on the blog, my readership from around the world has more than tripled.  The more information we can get out there the better as far as I am concerned.  I was happy to get some folks from Germany who were willing to share their struggles with me. 

 

I would like to be able to provide more reports on progress around the world if possible. It is important to be aware that people are facing corruption in family court and with DCF all over the world and not just Connecticut and the U.S. But that is a goal I am still striving for. 

YAY! I'M ON TOP!

I haven't written on this blog for such a long time.  I'm not even sure if I should, at this point.  However, I did want this blog to be a more casual way to connect with readers, so I hate to neglect it. 

 

Simply put, I don't write on this blog because blogging takes a considerable amount of time, even when you are discussing very limited topics.  For example, today I just spent three hours writing about Rooker-Feldman and the Domestic Relations Exception. 

 

These are not complicated issues, but still making sure that I have my facts right takes a considerable amount of time.  I always check and double check the information at various locations online to be sure that what I'm saying is correct. 

 

I do like the article because I think it does answer that question, the one about why attorneys in family court just don't give a shit about your rights.  The same goes for probate court as far as I can see.  If you go online and google it, probate court is just about the second most corrupt court there is.  And why?  Because there is no federal oversight!  Makes sense, doesn't it! 

 

Returning to the title of my blog here, I am feeling very satisfied that I've been able to pursue this blog for the last two years.  As a result, I am particularly gratified to find that when I plugged in the terms "Connecticut Divorce Blog" into google, my blog was the first entry.  This is the first time that's happened!   I feel like I've worked very hard to obtain that recognition, to earn the trust of my audience, and to attract the high level of traffic that spends time on my blog.  I'm happy to see that working hard has led to some good results and that I have been part of starting a conversation that I hope will result in the reform of our family court system. 

 

I want to thank my audience for that because credit really goes to the people who are ready to listen, to learn, and use the information I provide to help others.  The kinds of people I've met through this blog are just like that.

PROGRESS OF THE DIC BLOG

"To be honest, I never thought it would happen, but my audience for Divorce in Connecticut is actually growing quite substantially.  Every time I look at the stats section, I am finding that a considerable number of individuals access my blog.  This happens even when I'm not even posting on the blog, or on weekends when blogs ordinarily don't get much traffic.  Wow!  This must mean that I am doing something right. "

I wrote these words six months ago, and was interupted and never got back to them.  But they are true.  I am finding that I am receiving considerable traffic on my blog, and the traffic continues even when I stop posting for several days.  I guess I have enough material so that if I don't have any new posts, people still go to the blog and read up on what I have there. 

 I am so glad that things turned out well, because I wasn't sure if what I had to say was relevant or would be helpful.  It is very comforting for me to know that even if my case isn't going well, or even if my personal life is causing me problems, I can still work on my blog and make a contribution to the lives of others.

I really enjoy the freedom I have to say what I think on the blog, and to post whatever interests me--jokes, videos, songs, reflections, information on the law.  Writing the blog is a very liberating experience.  I may be restricted in so many ways because of the impact that family court has had on me, but here in this blog I can express myself as I wish.  That is very healing for me.

Violent, Selfish Fathers vs. Violent, Selfish Mothers on Trial

Violent, Selfish Fathers vs. Violent, Selfish Mothers on Trial

FIXING UP MY "LINKS" PAGE

Hurray!  I finally got around to it!  I fixed up my links page so that the links are all in working order and if you click on the page you have a quick description of each link so you know what you are getting into once you click it.  Why wasn't this done before, you ask?  Because I am lazy, lazy, lazy! 

Some of the links' URLs are not self explanatory and knowing what each of them is required me to click on them and do an assessment of what you would find so I could write up a little blurb.  Previously, I wasn't prepared to do that, so you had to take the luck of the draw if you clicked on them before today. 

So "high 5" guys, no more mystery now.  It's all explained and all at your finger tips.  Each one of the websites I have listed is useful and valuable when it comes to finding information and support in regard to your high conflict divorce.  I will continue to update the page as I go forward.

THE SHENKMAN CASE

I can't help but notice recently, how much attention my blog on the The Shenkman Case is receiving.  This is a case where this gentleman burned down two of the marital homes and then took his wife hostage and threatened to kill her. 


I know that my tone in this blog is rather edgy and this may shock some people.  I think readers and even I sense in myself this feeling of anarchy that underlies the discussion in this posting.  Some of this arises from the intensity of the emotions I have experienced during my divorce combined with the strict discipline which I am required to exercise over those emotions.  Sometimes, I can't help but let lose verbally.


I think that the edginess in this blog also arises from a feeling of frustration at the legal system that simply fails to respond in the face of crisis and does not protect people who truly need help.  At the same time, it places burdens on mentally fragile individuals who are unable to handle those burdens, and the result is often tragic for everyone involved, particularly the children. 


I also acknowledge in this blog how angry people are, not only at the system, but also at themselves and often at their former spouses who are often perceived as the source of their suffering.  I have listened to a good many people express their wish that the other party, the ex wife or the ex husband would simply die a slow and painful death. 


Under the circumstances, it is amazing to me that people show such restraint and act appropriately when deep down they wish to do otherwise.  In many respects, this self restraint is an act of courage. 


Finally, I think that the edgy tone of this blog could lead people to misinterpret what I am saying.  Under no circumstances does this blog in any way condone violence.